Enough

 I am an empath. I have spent, and will likely continue to spend, my life attempting to be the peace for others. I love peace. I also love to help. If I see a need, I will meet it before you even ask me to. It's just who I am to my core. 

I have spent a lot of time in my life reflecting on people that don't seem to "like" me. From where I'm sitting, I should be quite likeable. I would literally do anything to help you be happy. I have given money, gifts, time, energy, etc. to attempt to make everyone happy so that I can feed off of that and be happy. Even still, I was not enough for some. So, I'm here today to tell you something. Maybe this will meet you where you are. Maybe it won't. It's just really big on my heart right now. 

You are you. Period. I know, it's a hard pill to swallow. Hopefully, as your life goes on, you grow and evolve. However, in this moment, you are exactly perfectly you. I'm reminding you of this first because, if you're like me, you're going to lose track of that at some point. You're going to try to mold yourself into someone else's needs or someone else's view of what you should be. Friend, some of those things are going to be impossible to obtain. There will be literal things that you cannot change about yourself in any way. Regardless of how badly you want to, you need to remember that. You need to hold onto the fact that you were uniquely made to be exactly YOU. 

There will be people you cannot satisfy. There will be people you cannot change for simply because you weren't made to mold that way. It will suck. It will hurt. You will question if there is something wrong with you or if you're ever going to be enough. I want you to understand something though. 

**You are already enough**

Not everyone is for everyone. THAT took me a very long time to learn. So, reread that sentence again and again until you really let it settle into the core of who you are. It truly affects me when people have no logical reason to not like me but they still choose not to. I can actually list names of these people. That's how much it  bothers me. That's how much it makes me question myself. I have spent time analyzing on what I could do better...different? What was it that made them instantly make a decision about me? 

Guess what? It's them. I know, I know...how is it not me? Well, you are always going to be received through their life's filters. Unfortunately, we have all been given different paths in this life and those paths come with different filters. Some are taught to us and can be untaught, like racism, but some are things we hold deep and forever. Things we may have been conditioned to believe. I was conditioned to believe I could never be anything but overweight for my entire life. It was who I was and who I was going to be forever. To this day, I see a different person staring in the mirror back at me because I can't believe that I could possibly be anything other than obese. 

People will see you through the eyes that they have been given. You could be the purist soul with even purer intentions and someone could call you fake. Someone could believe that you're in it for something. You have something you want to gain. An agenda. Who knows? Just promise me one thing, ok?

Promise me that you remember what I said before. You are you. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Your deepest, darkest, secrets are yours only. Your purist moments are also yours only. No one knows all of you except you. Don't let them steal that from you. Don't lose sight of yourself trying to be what you think they want you to be. Trying to be liked...or worse, loved. Love cannot be forced. Love cannot be earned. There are no amount of acts that you have to achieve before love is given. They either love you or they don't. 

I know. I know it's hard. I know that you are wondering what you can do differently or how you can be more loveable but, please listen, you are all the way loveable exactly how you are. You just have to find the ones that will love YOU. I know it can be exhausting and I know it can feel like no one will but those are lies. You are valuable and a true treasure to those that see all of you and love you anyways. Never. Stop. Searching. for the genuine in life. That will make every ended relationship worth it. That will make you love yourself for exactly who you are. Nothing is worth changing you for. No one is worth losing yourself for. 

We need you. Not everyone is for everyone but you, my sweet friend, you are for someone. That someone will see you and love you in a way that you didn't know existed. That someone, or someones, will be everything you never thought you'd find. They're worth the wait. They're worth it. I promise.